funny everyday life quotes

Today while in bed with my boyfriend, he tried to pull the blanket to his side because he was freezing, but instead of grabbing the blanket, it's my hair he clung to. Jinxed!

Today, the only tv channel I am able to watch is the medical channel, so I had to eat dinner watching teeth surgery. Jinxed!

Today, I have the best friend in the entire world (hes a guy im a girl) and I had a crush on him for over a year. Finally I got over him and I am now in a reltionship with a wonderful guy... My friend just admitted that he's loved me since we met! Jinxed!

Today, after my roommate played a series of lame pranks on me (cheese in my shoes, pictures of me taking a shower on facebook, etc.) I decided it was time for a revenge. I put laxative in a bottle of Mountain Dew. When he and his girlfriend came back from the gym, she was very thirsty... and he wasn't. Jinxed!

Today, I tried to clean the living room. While at it, I dropped the dirty plates I was bringing to the dishwasher and my GF broke a big vase full of water. Now my place looks like a fakir's training ground and there's no way I spend one more minute cleaning. Jinxed!

Today, I tell a kid how my Iphone works. He flicked the screen, apparently to remove a fly. It was the background picture. Jinxed!

Today, my boyfriend bought me a beautiful white gold bracelet. I took it off to shower, and momentarily left my puppy unattended in the bathroom. the bracelet is gone, and my puppy looks guilty. Now I play the waiting game. jinxed!

Today at a party, I drank 80 Proof alcohol straight out of the bottle and passed out under a table, puked profusely and started screaming for a girl I hated. Woke up at home with no shoes and still drunk. Many LOL text messages that morning. Jinxed!

Today, I am sitting around a room full of couples who are being all lovely-dovely... The only thing I could do is walk out and slam the door out of frusturation. They seemed pretty scared. Way to look desperate. Jinxed!

Today a guy I didn't know taught me what women really want: the more he was making them laugh, the more they liked him. Love and laughs are really going together for women and I'm glad I witnessed this sooner rather than later! Jinxed!

Today, we're watching the video of my birth with my family. Felt awesome to realize that the first thing my mom said when she saw me was: "wow, she is ugly!" Jinxed!

Today, while I was making love with my girlfriend, I heard the phone ring at the groundfloor. I did not want to leave her so I carried her on my back while naked. Found all my neighbours, parents and relatives to wish my birthday in surprise. Jinxed!