funny everyday life quotes

Today, I go get rid of garbage at the dumpster but I forgot I was holding my mobile in the same hand. Jinxed!

Today, my mom stopped me from going to the movies with my friends because we never do anything nor spent time together.We went to the IKEA store and cleaned up the basement. Cool. Jinxed!

We bought a new car and traded my old one in. My wife stole it from me and now I drive her old one, that is until she left 2 half gallons of milk in it right before we went on a 4 day vacation. Now I'm stuck with the 08 Jeep Stinkmobile that doesn't even have a carpet in it anymore because I had to rip it out. Jinxed!

Today I lay in bed cuddling my dream girl for hours because she's the "romantic type". We've only kissed once and she leaves tomorrow!! Jinxed!

Today, I found my sister's lost silver heart necklace that she accused me of stealing. I found it in my cat's vomit. Jinxed!

Today I was waiting for the bus, a friend of mine saw me, stopped and  offered to drop me off anywhere, which I refused. The bus didnt come so I had to walk for about an hour to the next bus stop. when I got to where I wanted to go in the first place, the friend I was supposed to meet was already gone. Jinxed!

Today, I was driving the golf cart today and I bring my dogs with me when I golf. One of the dogs chasing a squirrel runs in front of the golf cart and I run over her. She dies instantly, and now my other dog won't even look at me anymore. Jinxed!